Ma bonne etoile

Si cum prapastia se casca asa... Vedea Soarele intr-o parte si Luna in cealalta. Savoarea primaveriicand frumusetea se intredeschidea spre colinele din viata lor scadea cu fiecare rasuflare. Plecarea inspre necunoscut se facea prea repede. Prea repede ca sa mai poata da inapoi. Totul avea proportii pantagruelice. Si decizia sa nu putea primi acum decat Soarele, Luna, Stelele, Prapastia... Cand primise primul ei premiu pentru vioara, primele momente cu fetele in oras, pe malul marii cu iubitul si vedea copilul pe acre ar fi fost fericita sa-l aiba, bunicii mandri, prietenii si prietenele sale in jurul ei... Casa de pe malul Mediteranei... Pana in punctul in care ajunge acolo, pe marginea existentei, unde.........

Hoinarea singuraintr-un labirint de verdeata, inconjurata de aceeasi copaci, mergand cu aceeasi nesigurantainspre aceeasi margine a noii lumi. Era ciudat cum toate sentimentele, emotiile le simtea atat de accentuat, de libere, de parca ar fi fost alte fiinte ce faceau parte din ea... EA? Ea? eA? SAu ceva ce exista sau se perinda printr-un trecut sau viitor al umanitatii? Sau al sufletelor pierdute>? Pierduta si ea intr-un infern al imensitatii, in infernul nesigurantei si al neputintei.... Nu-si putea vedea trupul asa cum il vedea altadata. Acum numai percepea decat o pata. Si ce era o pata ca sa poata descrie materialmente starea fizica, aspectul unei stele stinse?

"Ma bonne etoile..."

waitin' for Godot

And this is how I get to be Vladimir sometimes and Estragon sometimes. Even Pozzo, if I "let my guard down". But I know that sometimes Godot will be there. He is sometimes, some other times I am waiting for him and he fails to come. The reference is a little bit strange but so is my life. Adventures? I always had them from books and even so, not completely. However, Godot can be a symbol. What are we waiting for? WEll, there is always somethng. And it takes time, energy, strength, ability to find IT. And when we do, this is where it had really laid. In our arms. Because everything comes down to us and our power to enlarge our horizon and soar for the ideal, as we human beings, call it ;)
I have great examples who showed that everything is possible. But they all are relevant. What is with this so "motivating" and goal oriented speech? Well, if you ask yourselves, it only comes to bring me and the others light. Light upon thngs and upon my life. It comes to bring examples. Alive ones. And very relevant and smart and intelligent and full of life and passionate. I know I am sometimes but I am fluctuating like the waves of an ocean. sometimes there are currents, sometimes the sea is calm. They? They are the most "vivid" examples. And they will always be. And life may be as you interpret you to be. It may be a dream as Eminescu used to say, it may be a box of chocolate(isn't it that you would watch Forest Gump a thousand times more??? :), it may be a pray as MArin Preda would name it at a certain point, it may be a grapefruit sometimes (and this belongs to me;))and you name it , the comparison to find for (y)our life. I stick to my point and want to congratulate my frinds or my acquaintances for achieving what they achieved (only God knows through what sacrifices, how much pain and work)and wish them to set examples inthe future as they did until now. I wish I could soar like that, dare that much, fly that high. But sometimes, most of the times in fact, I find some impediments in myself (they are only stupid reasons to convince myself I wouldn't get that far). Do you think there's someone who can see better or make the decisions for you? Maybe mom or maybe GEorgi. Or maybe Iulia. I wish I could stop hearing your applauses and see th ebox of chocolate, the grapefruit, the pray , the dream as being a whole......

अ चप्टर एंड्स

A part of my life ended when I took the train to come to Romania.Or in fact earlier. After I finished teaching in Mikolaj REj. That was when the traineeship ended and when I didn't realize that another one of my chapter was ending.I didn't close the book, but I continued to tell myself that it's growing. Well, it wasn't. This time I am decided. And I will grow. I have to.
Kuba's in SCotland. I am missing him terribly and trying to do the right thing. ALways. It's not always possible. It's difficult. But there is always some way. and there are excuses....
Well, good luck. BTW I don't know when I became so to the point and so uninspired and prosaic....

Tatra

This was one of the most beautiful days of my life and one of those in which one realizes that with the power of will nothing is impossible... 17.06.2006 I wake up at 4:30 after I sleep a sweet 2 hours sleep... J And here I am, at 5:20 we go on this wonderful trip, to Zakopane, me, Kuba and another couple – two of his friends (Asia and Marcin). We proceed and I find out that they wanted to go hitch-hiking, in fact, in the mountains, before arriving to Zakopane. And I don’t really like the idea, mostly because I wasn’t told about their plans... Well, at the end of the day, I would be thanking them, secretly, in my head for this wonderful idea and day... ;) We arrive here, finally, we pay for the fact that we were going to breath this healthy air and we start walking. And we walk and walk and take photos and we speak from time to time... And we walk and we walk and we walk some more until we get to this point where we have to climb and from this moment on, we climb and climb and climb and climb for almost 4 hours. My beliefs collapse, my life seems to escape through my fingers, I see myself laying on these rocks and I see Kuba with his qualms of conscience regretting that we had to get to this point.... Well, nothing of what I see happening happens so I have to deal with the climbing and Kuba is the one to encourage me telling me that I will be able to do this and I will be able to see wonderful landscapes and places like I’d never seen before. “Wow, I thought I’d never see something like that,” I was saying later seeing the Tatra mountains landscape... Dream-like landscape and a feeling of trust in myself and my strength, both physically and mentally (even emotionally)... It was him, again, the person to tell me stories about the places and to gravely tell me to be careful – as the paths were most of the time very dangerous and deep precipice was waiting to seize me... But apparently they weren’t too lucky... ha! (sic!) And we spent some time bathing our eyes and hands in the wonderful lake, in Morskie Oko and we admired the fish swimming there. After some more climbing, we decided to eat something and the boys ate “Żurek w kebałsem” (I think I wrote it well J) – which is a soup made from sour cucumbers with sausage and I had some bigos (also Polish dish made from cabbage)...
So we went on narrow, snowy paths, we crossed rivers trying to escape dry, we drank melted snow, we sunbathed (and only God, me and Kuba and maybe Marcin and Asia too J - hi hi hi – know how it sometimes hurt, esp. when we’re trying to sleep) because the sun shone with all its might, we walked under the rain and – this is my favourite part – I started liking walking on rocks, because I had learnt how to do this very quickly and efficiently... ;) Isn’t that a realization????
And after almost nine hours of walking, climbing and going down and of taking photos and enjoying the gorgeous landscapes, we proceeded to Zakopane. I was “Finally!” to myself... And we arrived here, in the winter capital of Poland, very weary and exhausted but full of genuine will of moving the muscles, that couldn’t rest now.... And I cannot avoid the story of the second of sleep. Well, on our way, after five minutes, after leaving the parking Kuba had fallen asleep for a second, holding the car wheel. I watched him carefully, after that, all the way.... Don’t use your imagination keeping this in mind!!
We finally found a place to park the car and we went to visit this very famous place, where the Pope John Paul II used to spend his holidays, in winter. And we walked the not so long, but very popular and famous street and we had some drinks and watched a few minutes from the Czech Republic – Ghana match. And I first drank here beer with caramel (I think it will also be the last time)...
I forgot about the fair! How could I? It was a place like everywhere full of all kind of things, specific, from the mountains: all kind of sheep, mountain dogs – toys and real (they were sooooo sweet...), pillows made partly of wool, all kind of pottery, things made of wood, woolen blankets and finally cheese – “oscypek”, which we ate grilled and which I don’t like very much...but which is very famous in Poland and especially in mountains...and in this region. The rain came and took us to the car, but not without giving Kuba the chance of composing some meaningless, but funny lines “Polandia, pada, mokro, do dupy...” always embellishing it with more and more words or phrases and making it rhyme. “Koń sie....”
Finally, going home... It started raining, again and it stopped a few times and we were half an hour away from Bielsko a big storm started and we could bearly see anything, rain, water everywhere, lakes on the road, we saw an accident and 5 minutes before getting home the car stopped and didn’t want to start again... and the rain was falling heavily and finally the guy’s brother came for him and he brought me home and he took Kuba too at home and today, he went to take his car back, and he did that without any problems. The car didn’t know to swim... So, what’s the moral??? BUY YOURSELVES CARS THAT KNOW HOW TO SWIM!!!!!! JJJ

Me and ADela: May 2006

13 May started when I went to the train station to pick up Adela (my cousin)... Not very hot day, on the contrary, it was quite cloudy and the wind was kind of blowing. But that week-end was great. We were together, we spoke in Romanian (what is the most important) and we visited a lot of places in the region where I live, in Poland. WE went to the mountains,hitch-hiking to Magurka (hi hi hi to the noninitiated J), we visited Żywiec – the town where the famous Polish beer is made – we visited Kraków (original pronounciation :P) and we went to Auschwitz (Oświęcim, in Polish) of course and we took a tour of the Polish capital – the one and only Warszawa..... Not to mention that we took long walks on the streets of Bielsko, on the hills and we ventured into all these experience with a lot of courage and with all the Polish that I had gained (JJJ) and with some more English, of course. Not to forget about maps... We needed that...badly ;) It was an unforgetttable experience that I don\t think it will happen again, very full of adeventures (the train to Warsaw at 3 am , we didn’t have Polish money because the ATM didn’t want to work – none of them – and we were a little bit scared of the consequences of this fact....), and fun (I laughed my asss off, excuse me for using this phrase, but it is the best way to express how much I laughed JJJJJJ:J:JJJJ) of good and BAD mood, of annoyance or of irritation (from my side, sometimes because of Adela’s constant questions starting with “Why...?”) She had the opportunity of meeting some of my frinds and my flat mates, she met Kuba also and she indeed TOOK A LOT OF PICTURES!!!!! There you go my little Japonese! :* She tried a little bit of the Polish dishes more or less delicious :D and she discovered the joy of buying souvenirs (at the thought of the joy it would bring ;)).... Oh, and how could I forget???? She played the guitar and she was indeed proud of herself (and so you should have been ) since she had discovered some of the accords of one of Radiohead’s song.... Great, isn’t it? She then discovered the charms of my little female friend, my rabbit, Anisse and they have soon become friends... (“Din lumea celor care nu cuvanta” ;) ) And ever since the beginning she tried to handle this very complicated and mind boggling pronounciation of this cruel language – Polish!!!! Do you remember how to say one , two, three, in Polish, my dear? :::::::::D The week was long and at the same time short because we did a lot of things and because we were busy and trying to achieve something every time... J It was unique and the photos wil remain the best words to express that. I don’t want to sound melodramatic or melancholic or nostalgic (I’m reading Kundera, I know the etymology of the word - ha ha ha :J:J:J)
So , thanks Addela for tha nice time we had together and for the small presents (but all of them important for me :D) that you brought! Plus (a big + ) for the Romanian that I practised during your stay (and the litle bit of Spanish) ;)
I to jest koniec (as the Polish would say: And this is the end)....

Venezia....

Iata VEnetia, oras incantator (mai ales prin cantitatea de apa) prin arhitectura sa ce combina multe din stilurile romanesc, gotic, bizantin intr-un mod atat de unic, cum se infatisa privirilor noastre din tramvaiul pe apa (din care am vazut cum e posibila o greva in gondole....) AM facut multe poze si am reusit sa prind o mica parte din atmosfera de sarbatoare pe care o degaja mica parte - dar atat de reprezentativa - a Italiei. Dupa plimbari lungi, un pranz gustos si cumparaturi ne-am despartit de orasul luminat la apus de reflectiile soarelui in apa cristalina si am pornit pe autostrada catre Padova, locul in care aveam sa ne petrecem o noapte, in casa surorii lui Marek (soferul nostru polonez). Pana sa ajungem aici (lucru care s-a intamplat pe 29 aprilie, undeva spre seara)insa, am trecut prin experiente amuzante legate de traseele pe care le alegeam, nu intotdeauna cele potrivite.... Trebuie sa mentionez ca prima zi a excursiei noastre in Italia a fost destul de innorata si in noaptea petrecuta in Padova a si plouat. Am ajuns, am facut dus, am mancat si am dormit precum pruncii , inca de la 10 pm, pana la 7:30 cand eu si SAndy abia am reusit sa ii trezim pe baieeti.

END of Part II (putin si bun )

Italia...

o Italia...

Italia pentru mine nu a fost o experienta covarsitoare (de asta nici nu am scris mai repede despre ea). Nu a fost o experienta covarsitoare pentru ca asteptarile mele au fost prea mari. Chiar daca trecusem prin Milano, vazusem si auzisem italieni, vazusem o parte din Italia(in 2004), totusi am avut impresia (inainte sa ajung in Roma, Venetia, Florenta, Vatican) ca locurile astea sunt extra-ordinare. Insa am fost dezamagita. Locurile astea spun o parte din istorie, sunt o parte din antichitate (lucru pe care il gasesc nemaipomenit - existenta relicvelor, a cladirilor, a muzeelor, dovezi a modului de viata, a existentei stramosilor nostrii, a inteligentei si a indemanarii lor). Insa Aushwitz este, de asemenea, o parte din istorie, de asemenea importanta. Poate asta e motivul... Sau poate il gasiti voi...

Calatoria mea a inceput in Bielsko, cand spre seara zilei de 28 aprilie am luat trenul (dupa ce m-am despartit de Kuba, care a tot incercat sa ma convinga sa nu plec) spre Katowice. AColo m-am intalnit cu Mark (trainee din Noa Zeelanda) si impreuna am purces catre Wroc³aw, unde aveam sa ne intalnim cu alti 2 trainee (SAndy si Hai, tot din Noua Zeelanda). Dupa o alta experienta pe caile ferate (din nou ceva in neregula cu biletul meu... dupa ce ca am stat in picioare 3 damn hours...)...dar am ajuns obositi in Wroc³aw. SAndy ne-a asteptat la gara, l-am cules si pe Hai si am mers catre cuibusorul (de nebunii, mai putin)lui SAndy, am imbucat cate ceva si ne-am asteptat soferul (alumnus AIESEC Wroc³aw). La 2 am am plecat in sfarsit. Acum , nu mai retin exact orele la care am ajuns la granita in Cehia si in Austria, insa stiu sigur ca toti ofiterii vamali aveau o intrebare "Roman"? Si nu se refera la stramosii nostri ci la locuitorii spatiului asta mioritic called Romania... MA rog, am trecut peste si am ajuns cu bine in minunata Venetie, dupa cateva pauze in care am mancat , am facut poze si ne-am distrat putin unii pe seama celorlalti si toti pe seama lui Mark (engleza cu deficiente... hi hi hi )....

Venetia a fost prima experienta italiana si cea mai interesanta din punct de vedere lingvistic... Pentru ca trebuia sa parcam si pentru ca parcarea costa, eu am fost cea care s-a dus sa intrebe de tarife (stiam cel mai bine italiana dintre toti). Dupa ce doamna mi-a raspuns foarte amabil, s-ar parea ca am simtit nevoia sa imi exprim gratitudinea raspunzandu-i intr-o limba pe care era putin probabil sa o cunoasca. Si raspunsul a venit prompt in poloneza: "Tak. Dziêkuje!"... Am facut haz de situatie si de poloneza mea si am parcat si am mers sa vizitam Venetia.... Situatia s-a repetat cand am intrebat despre costul unui taxi pe apa si cand am multumit printr-un "Dobrze." pierdut printre micile valuri venetiene. AM ras din nou si am promis ca data viitoare sa nu mai scot decat vreun "si" , "grazie" sau orice alt cuvant IN ITALIANA...

END of PART I